To fully grok the concept of self-value, it helps to believe that each person has a soul, and that each soul has value beyond what is physical.
It’s difficult to make the point for a person’s inherent value, if I choose to believe a human being is just an electrified bag of chemicals walking around comparing his or her value to those around them based on looks, action, relationship, ownership, etc.
That out of the way, let’s move on to make what I hope is a helpful distinction between “Self-Esteem” and “Self-Value.”
Some folks will tell you that self-esteem is what you think of yourself, and self-value is what you’re born with. From where I stand, that’s partially right.
“You don’t have to replace ‘should’ in every thought and communication cold-turkey. Just replacing a few habitual “shoulds” will make a difference in mood and energy, and it gets easier once you create some momentum.”
I guess I should begin… oops! I’d like to start out with a characterization of the word “should.”
There are few more self-righteous, stress-producing, and energy-sapping words than “should.”
In fact, in his book Feeling Good, The New Mood Therapy, Dr. David D. Burns, a cognitive therapist, treats “should statements” as direct contributors to cognitive distortions, and devotes considerable space to revising these dysfunctional thoughts for the good of anyone seeking to improve their mood.
Should strips us of our authority, and puts it outside us in some power or arbitrary rule or belief that takes our choice away, and enslaves us.
Should is the basis of artificial guilt, a useless, punishing, emotion.