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By M. Kenneth Petruzzi, on December 5th, 2011 
A few months ago, I was driving home from a client visit, on I-495 in Foxboro, Massachusetts when an unexpected event changed my schedule.
I was enjoying the ride home, cruising along at 75 MPH, and feeling quite content. A client meeting had gone superbly, the weather was beautiful, and I was counting my blessings, but as I approached mile marker 36, everything got strange.
An avid motorcyclist, I have a habit of checking my mirrors often, but in this moment, it seemed like something took a hold of my head and jerked it up to look in the rearview, while at the same time this incredible sense of urgency pushed up from somewhere in my solar plexus.
WHAT?
It’s amazing what heightened senses and reflexes can do. I’ll play back the thoughts and choices that happened in a flash of a second:
“Gold Lincoln Town Car” “Too fast!” “Not slowing.” “He’s going to hit me!” “I have five car lengths ahead of me.” “Hit the Gas!”
There was no horn or other warning—just what seemed like a giant silver grill on a 4,500-lb. gold . . . → Read More: Accidents and the Law of Attraction
By M. Kenneth Petruzzi, on July 14th, 2011 
“We have relationships with everything we perceive, whether that is an object, event, or a person. Our authenticity depends on our authentic response to that relationship, and what is appropriate within that context.
Therefore, authenticity is not ‘speaking one’s truth no matter what,’ but is about responding in truth to what the relationship is calling for.”
~Mark Petruzzi
What does authenticity mean to you? Your beliefs and attitudes about the concept of authenticity may have a significant impact on the creation and co-creation of your relationships with others. Recently, a Psychology Today blog by Vivian Diller got me to thinking about this subject to even greater depths than I had before. The result? My current thinking goes something like this:
There are three aspects to authenticity.
The first requirement is that my desires have some connection with WHO I am. I wouldn’t get cosmetic surgery for fear of not meeting some consensus standard, or to impress according to some cosmetic standard (though for SOME cosmetic surgery IS an authentic action). . . . → Read More: What does Authenticity Mean to You?
By M. Kenneth Petruzzi, on March 30th, 2011 
Well, there is nothing wrong with positive thinking, itself. The real issue lies with the absurd misconceptions some folks have (and lately quite a few bloggers) about what practicing a positive outlook means. These in turn lead to failed implementations, and blow-back, and more downer blogs on positive thinking.
True positivity has nothing to do with covering over negativity. It has nothing to do with ignoring relationship difficulties or employee issues to achieve a false harmony. It has nothing to do with pasting affirmations over disturbing thoughts or memories (which can do more harm than good). It has nothing to do with suppressing anger or other “non-evolved” (what a joke) emotions that are a natural part of the most evolved person and which can prove quite helpful when recognized for what they are and used appropriately.
Positive thinking is about acknowledging and understanding what we experience as negative, and then choosing a focus that brings our perception to the value in any situation. Whether what troubles us is a perceived flaw in ourselves, or behavior of another, or . . . → Read More: What’s the Problem with Positive Thinking?
By M. Kenneth Petruzzi, on March 20th, 2011 
How shall we define success? Most of us use the word “success” for a variety of meanings. There’s the kind of success when we win something we want to win at. There’s the kind of success that we apply to those who have achieved some kind of significant milestone or admirable outcome. For example, many would agree that those who have earned or attracted financial abundance, widely recognized expertise, or stature are successful in some way.
But let’s aim broader in our definition of success. Let’s consider overall life success—Success with a big “S,” as opposed to “this moment’s win” kind of success.
I’ll begin with a straightforward proposal: that achieving overall life Success need not depend on winning, but can depend instead on how we feel about what we have, what we are going for, and how we are going for what we’re going for. Don’t worry, if you are not successful by this suggested definition of success, you are but a few thoughts away from getting closer to it.
So, let’s play with . . . → Read More: Reaching for a Better Definition of Success
By M. Kenneth Petruzzi, on March 15th, 2011 This post was transferred here from my SuccessWaypoint.com site. It was originally posted there on March 26, 2010.
Lately, I am coming across blog posts and articles that appear to have trouble reconciling the idea of following one’s passion or bliss with what they see as possible destructive outcomes of taking that that course.
I think that confusion comes when we see “passion” and “obsession/addiction” as related conditions. For me, the distinction between the former and the latter is pretty clear-cut.
Passion is almost always about moving *towards* something for positive reasons, while addiction/obsession is almost always about engaging in a powerful distraction to *escape* something unwanted. That “something unwanted” is often emotional pain, but a sense of powerlessness is also a huge driver for aberrant behaviors.
Those of us who have known the bliss that can result from realized passion understand that it is not about mere pleasure, but comes from a nexus of pleasure and thriving inner self/heart… a supreme alignment not achievable through obsession or addiction. While obsession/addiction can bring overwhelming intoxication, we know that intoxication is but a bad facsimile of true bliss.
Law of Attraction Postscript
Those of us who study the law . . . → Read More: Passion vs. Addiction
By M. Kenneth Petruzzi, on November 3rd, 2010 What do you think of when you consider your right to vote? Winners and losers? Putting your candidate in there to further your agenda or preserve the status quo? Sending a message to your leaders regarding the change you’re looking for? With the recent election, I’ve had a chance to consider these questions and more, and talk them over with friends and relatives. After doing so, I submit the following: . . . → Read More: Considering the Right to Vote
By M. Kenneth Petruzzi, on October 12th, 2010 To fully grok the concept of self-value, it helps to believe that each person has a soul, and that each soul has value beyond what is physical. It’s difficult to make the point for a person’s inherent value, if I choose to believe a human being is just an electrified bag of chemicals walking around comparing his or her value to those around them based on looks, action, relationship, ownership, etc. That out of the way, let’s move on to make what I hope is a helpful distinction between “Self-Esteem” and “Self-Value.” Some folks will tell you that self-esteem is what you think of yourself, and self-value is what you’re born with. From where I stand, that’s partially right. . . . → Read More: Self-Esteem vs. Self-Value
By M. Kenneth Petruzzi, on October 5th, 2010 
The last time I Googled “preventive medicine” (earlier this afternoon), my search returned more than 10 Million results. Clearly, it’s an established idea, but I resent the implication of the term: that without some kind of specific medical action to the contrary, I’m tending towards illness, rather than wellness.
I admit that it’s tempting to look at something like proper dental care as preventive, but I don’t like what “preventive” does to our mental attitude, so I run my mind a bit differently.
I like to anticipate wellness and wellbeing. For the most part, I allow wellness. “Allowing wellness” is good for about 2 Million hits on Google. It is what I would like to see promoted instead of “preventive medicine” or even “proactive medicine” except in those rare cases when “preventive medicine” makes more sense in a sentence (like when talking about fluoride treatments on teeth), and there I use “proactive care.”
Even in cases where I reluctantly give the nod to proactive care, I do so reminding myself that I am contributing to my body’s natural tendency toward wellbeing, and not fending off . . . → Read More: The Problem with “Preventive Medicine”
By M. Kenneth Petruzzi, on September 23rd, 2010 
Following up on my “should” topic, let’s take a look at another group of energy-sucking phrases.
“Have to” “Need to” “I must”
There are very few things we have to do or need to do, and everything else is choice.**
In fact, if I talked with you right now, I bet I could trace almost all your have-tos and need-tos to earlier choices that you made quite voluntarily. In other words, you might think you have to, but you only have to because you want something else. It’s that simple.
But you pay an emotional price when you walk around saying, “I have to” and “I need to.” You even pay a price by saying “I need” all by itself.
Need implies lack, and your subconscious hears need phrases as “something’s missing.” Need phrases are probably second only to should-statements in their capability to sink your mood-ship with a series of small holes.
“I need to… I have to… I feel like I’m pushing this boulder of ‘have-tos’ around all day.”
Try phrasing your desires as “I want” instead. Try it now. Take . . . → Read More: “Have To” and “Need To” vs. “Want To”
By M. Kenneth Petruzzi, on September 13th, 2010 “You don’t have to replace ‘should’ in every thought and communication cold-turkey. Just replacing a few habitual “shoulds” will make a difference in mood and energy, and it gets easier once you create some momentum.”
I guess I should begin… oops! I’d like to start out with a characterization of the word “should.” There are few more self-righteous, stress-producing, and energy-sapping words than “should.” In fact, in his book Feeling Good, The New Mood Therapy, Dr. David D. Burns, a cognitive therapist, treats “should statements” as direct contributors to cognitive distortions, and devotes considerable space to revising these dysfunctional thoughts for the good of anyone seeking to improve their mood. Should strips us of our authority, and puts it outside us in some power or arbitrary rule or belief that takes our choice away, and enslaves us. Should is the basis of artificial guilt, a useless, punishing, emotion. . . . → Read More: Five Reasons to Dump “Should” from Your Life
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